I cringe every time I enter that awkward stage in the beginning of what you hope will turn out to be a relationship. It's like, you have no idea what to do with yourself. You stare at the phone constantly and you're always looking around, hoping--praying! That maybe you'll see that face you've been wanting to see all day. For lack of a better word, you feel pathetic. And no amount of reassurance from your best friend can cure that terrible paranoia you feel. It practically screams at you saying, "You're making this up. It's not going to happen." And perhaps the only remedy is to hear it from that one person's lips that you weren't just going crazy, that they feel it too.
Look, all I'm saying is; I feel like I'm trapped in some relationship limbo. Just when I think I'm on the right track to one, the truth suddenly comes crashing down on me. And even if it's happening for real this time, I can't help but wonder...whose to say that it won't come crumbling again? All I feel is this nauseating combination of giddy butterflies, and anticipation of the worst. I don't want to get hurt--again, but I feel like if I don't put myself out there, I'll never know for sure...
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